A melancholy gloom descended on the platform as I went into into retrospect. The last eight years of my life had been tumultuous, three of them in the village and five in the city.
I had arrived in the city five years back on this very night, fresh from striking a fortune on the farm, full of ambition and youth, determined to make the world mine. The city was magnificent, but cruel, a land of opportunity, but an unforgiving land as well.
When I arrived, my pockets were full. I invested heavily, with the false hope from a friend that it would pay one day, the day it all materialised into the massive profits that he foresaw. He even had the cheek to pinch a slight commission for himself, inspite of calling himself a friend. He was nowhere withing the horizon now, having deserted me when I most needed him. The profits never came, I got desperate, changed my lodgings to a more modest one. The profits still didn't come. As the years passed, the lodgings got more and more moderate, so did the bank balance.
My last landlord was merciful, but when I failed to pay his rent, a meagre sum of eight hundred rupees, for the fourth consecutive month, he gently took me aside and told me it couldn't continue, that he would have to turn me out. I had cried, for the first time in the city, not because I was happy till then but because no one had lent a shoulder for me to cry. He lent me his, and I thoroughly wet it with litres of tears, which he bore with a compassionate smile and a sorry face, wishing me luck.
All my pocket contained was a wallet which had a piece of paper that said "Indian Railways", containing several meaningless numbers and abbreviations but most importantly, a line that said "Bangalore Central to Kootahalli", the place I was born.
Every now and then, I took out this ticket and saw it with love, love that was non-existent in the city. A love for the humble village, my old wizened mother, my ever faithful wife and those stars on earth called my children. In the five years of my city existence, I had forgotten them in all my worries. The city had everything I needed, except the tenderness, the love, the compassion. Perhaps I shouldn't have trusted my "friend", maybe I shouldn't even have contemplated moving to the city when I had everything in the village. Maybe it was the lazy bit of me that coaxed me into believing that city life would be less strenuous, needing less effort.
But it was all past. Optimism,was the one emotion my fellow villagers did not share with me. They feared the future,while I always pre-determined it to my liking and this city adventure did nothing to take this feeling from me. I was still young, strong and now even had a little experience from which I could learn. I still had the brains I possessed earlier, I still had the desire, the green thumb which helped me make the fortune was still in my hand. I just had to rake in the moolah.
The task was simple. I had to turn my unparalleled potential into capital and all it needed was a bit of sweat. A head on the shoulders and two feet on the earth would suffice.
The train thudded onto the platform. I confidently stepped into the compartment. The lack of any luggage made it easier. I could sell my wallet, use the money to buy some form of sustenance, and keep the left-over at the feet of the deity in the village temple.
The train would take me to the village, my wife would forgive my neglect, my mother would bless me and my neighbourhood would accept me again. The zamindar would grant me an advance, I would make enough money to buy a land, cultivate it and within two years, my pockets would be full again. The world would be all smiles again, atleast my world.
The powerful engine pulled the train away from the platform, the wind was in my face and my hand was in my pocket. I could already feel the cash filling it, already see the world five years hence.
But I would never conquer the city, perhaps I could teach my children the lessons I had learnt and perhaps they would one day win over the city as well. I felt a pinge of remorse as the city skyline was visible on the horizon. It had been my home for the past half-decade, But I truly belonged in the village. My eyes shut and after a long break, real sleep came to me.
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