In case you are wondering, a hypnagogic jerk is not a psychotic snobbish individual, as the name would suggest, but rather is the phenomenon where one experiences the feeling of falling down just as he/she is about to stroll into the dREMland. (Ok, that's a horrible pun)
Going back to what is germane to the issue at hand, I was wondering where I was a year back, in the summer of 2013. And a year before that. And where I am today. It's a refreshing exercise. If your life has not changed overwhelmingly, if the intervening 12 months have not held surprises, joys and stories to tell your grand-kids, something is amiss and you must strive, I think, to ensure that the next 12 months don't find you rotting in the same monotony.
So let me refresh. mid-May, 2012, where was I? Literally and figuratively. Literally, it is quite probably I was exactly where I am, in my room, on the bed. Not staring at a laptop screen, probably was staring at a mechanics book. On average, the title of the book was probably "Classical Mechanics for IITJEE". Arihant Publications. My insides cringe when I hear the name : Arihant Publications. It took the soul out of the quite beautiful science that the syllabus for the Senior Secondary School designed by the Central Board of Secondary Education contains, by turning it into a mere exercise of learning to get through "competitive exams" instead of encouraging us to develop a critical eye for science and to peer into the depths of the beauty of the science of how the world works. No book ever caused one to dreamily stare at the roof, wondering at the philosophy of why the attractive force of gravity has to follow an equation described in the language of mathematics. It is like God (read "chance" if you are an atheist) made the rules and then left things by themselves to assemble into something meaningful, and the precise balancing of centripetal force and centrifugal force caused a planet of just the right size, with just the right particles, with just the right period of rotation at just the right distance from a star of just the right brightness at just the right time period in the right universe (in case of the existence of a multi-verse) to support life, and hence us, and hence our ability to dream and think about it.
I was probably talking on the phone for extended periods of time (you do not see the twinkle in my eye), was probably watching an Arsenal match on the telly. Life was focussed on one thing only, academics. All else was secondary.
Mid- May 2013. Actually, I know exactly where I was on May 12th, 2013. At the Dayananda Sagar Institute of Technology, some dozen kilometres from my residence, sweating over problems in maths, physics and chemistry (that books of the Arihant Publications avatar had taught me to tackle) while also trying to keep my keep my urethral sphincter closed to the gush of urine desperate to exit my system. Not a pleasant balancing act.
The period of time was the home-run of a protracted exam festival, all "competitive". I have no idea what that word means. What is so "competitive" about them, which is lacking in every other exam. It has simply been institutionalised. (Listen to Morgan Freeman say the word)
Now, here I am, in the summer of 2014, middle of May, the warm Bangalore night air, after two days of sun which were preceded by a week of rain. Still pleasant, still inspiring all that is good. I'm reading voraciously, sleeping peacefully, roaming around town in my favourite blue-white BMTC buses (sometimes the red Volvo) and now updating my blog. Surely my zenith. Will I ever get such ample free time again in my life? It's a shaky ground. The answer tends towards no. New college friends who have been friends long enough to share a certain closeness and bond and old school friends who have been away short enough to still retain the closeness and bond. Arsenal finally in the finals of a Cup tournament, looking end a torturous 9 year wait for victory in any competition, apart from the Emirates Cup, which if you remotely follow football, will know is a little more prestigious than the "my street vs your street" cricket matches played in younger days.
I like to take the view that right now, these two months of vacation, will be the last extended period of leisure that I can enjoy with age on my side. I hope to make it a time of unmitigated joy, new experiences, deep introspection and most importantly, full of memories. Time that is lost, never comes back, and my dreams are waiting for me.
So if you will excuse me, I have to go and be a huge hypocrite, aimlessly surf the internet, "like" some memes, watch old Arsenal videos, while away two months. That's a lot to do!
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